On the morning of Friday July 4th 2008. The crew was in Excelsior, Arkansas preparing to film the third annual redneck rocket launcher for independence day. Good Morning America had a fireworks safety special. Footage that we shot filming the first redneck rocket launcher. The ABC Good Morning America video is called 10 things not to do with fireworks, and the redneck rocket launcher was the #1 thing in the world not to do with fireworks.

Jackson, I want to go to Arkansas to see that
extinct Ivory billed woodpecker thing that everybody has been talking about. Mr.
Driggs, that's swamp country. "So what?" Well sir, it's dangerous down there.
Snakes, aligators, giant snapping turtles, and such. "Nonsense Jackson! Get
Betty Lou, her nephew Ronnie lives there, and he'll work cheap!" A few phone
calls and they were on their way. After meeting Ronnie in Arkansas, they picked
up the boat and headed for the swamp. Strange directions though, "go due east to
the swamp, then head west." As they crossed the swamp, they found a dry place to
ground the boat and rest. A few minutes after getting off the boat, the men
began to sink in the half dry mud. As they struggled, the mud hastened their
stick. Now up to his waist in mud, Mr. Driggs cried, "Ronnie where have you
taken us?" Ronnie had a sick look on his face as he pointed to the water and
said, " hell, I think?" Then everyone saw what he was pointing at. Hungry
turtles, the water began crawling with them. Suddenly the men realized why the
woodpecker thing had survived here. In this place, man was no longer at the top
of the food chain. These particular men screamed most of the night.

Little Tommy Johnson weighs all of 90 pounds and rides his motor scooter to get
to the bar up the street, then drinks until he's content. He rides his scooter
home when he's done, then he turns in for the night. Little Tommy Johnson, a
frail timid man not much bigger than a child. Among the things Tommy carries
with him, is a loaded .45 automatic. So all you Gangstas, Home-Boys, Rebels, and
Rednecks always remember to show your respect to the smallest of players.
Because if you cross little Tommy Johnson, he will take out his .45 and shoot
you in the face.

by Lindsay James

Charlie Burton was an independent insurance adjuster, and he was quite good at
his trade. Charlie could track down any vehicle, and estimate repair cost
flawlessly. For a claimant to receive a settlement, all it took was one call
from Charlie. He was in demand, and right now Worthington National Insurance
demanded his undivided attention. It seems that Rosemary Johnson had been
involved in a motor vehicle accident 31 days ago, and nobody had spoken with her
since the accident. Her statement was critical to the investigation, so the
insurance company sent her packet to Charlie. After ten days of searching, he
finally found Rosemary Johnson. Charlie soon discovered that Rosemary had been
taken to the hospital after the accident, then moved to a rest home when she was
well enough to travel. She had no family, except for sixteen cats living in her
van. And animal control had removed the cats, just after the accident. The hard
part was done, now all Charlie had to do was work up a repair estimate. The man
at the wrecker service told Charlie that he had towed the van to Rosemary’s
house, and put it in her garage. Charlie went to her house then walked into the
garage, and opened the van door to look inside. As soon as he stuck his head in
the van, Charlie heard a whirring sound. It suddenly felt like electricity was
crawling all over his eyeballs, he was blinded instantly. He now felt the
stinging itch all over his body, and began to choke. As Charlie lay dying, he
suddenly realized what was happening. Millions of blood starved fleas were in
his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, soon they were in his lungs. They covered his
body, and ate old Charlie alive.

Residents of Johnson county Arkansas live in fear after mysterious animals are seen roaming their small town. People are terrified, and afraid to go into the woods. Hunting is the towns main source of income, says Daniel McCormick( a local business owner). Towns people believe that the mysterious animals are the legendary Mexican Chupacabra. And the local influx of illegal aliens is to blame for the Chupacabra infestation. "These monsters followed the wetbacks here", says Jerry Williams(local resident). One of these creatures was killed recently, and its remains were sent to the Arkansas game and fish commission. The creatures species could not be determined.