Hey guys,

marfiahitman and I want to get a Halo game going one of these nights...reposting his blog right here. If you want in, head over to his blog and add your gamertag. once we get enough people to play some team deathmatch or whatever, we'll pick a date and get the game going....

From marfia:

ok, heres the deal.
the admin and i have gotten an idea to have a SV membors game of halo on xbox live...
the only thing is, we need people..
whose in?

requiments..

xbox 360

xbox live gamertag

and a copy of halo 3

... my gamer tag is IC3 HAMM3R

give me your gamer tag and i'll add you

RESPOND TO HIM HERE!!!!
marfiahitman's blog

Ok, well this one isnt really from my gramps...but it was too funny to pass up.

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I'm going back to the US for Christmas tomorrow! Yay!

My travel agent has, thoughtfully, seen fit to provide me with a pamphlet of helpful tips to make my overseas travel less of an anxiety-filled social minefield riddled with white people and guns. I got such a kick out of these that I wanted to share. (I picked most of the fun ones. There are a lot of boring tips too.)

* The yen is very strong against the dollar right now. This will make goods in America seem very cheap -- an excellent opportunity for shopping! However, remember to be polite in your use of money -- America is in the middle of economic malaise right now, and Japanese people with wads of money in their hand might be looked on with envy. Besides, if you are obviously wealthy in an American city, you may be robbed.

* For our valued customers who work in the automotive industry [#1 employer where I live], we advise discretion. If you must say where you work, the preferred phrasing is [English] "I work at the car company".

* Most Americans are very polite, particularly outside of the big cities. However, outside of the big cities, everyone owns guns. Inside the big cities, almost everyone owns guns. Let's be polite together!

* If you go shopping at an American department store, they will ask you if you want to open a credit card account. They are *not* asking whether you want to use a credit card. This may seem strange but it is an American custom to offer customers a credit card, in order to make them spend more money. We suggest politely declining offers of credit cards. You may have to politely decline several times. Don't think of this as rude, the Americans have to do it too.

* Most Americans think we look like Chinese or Koreans. Try not to be too offended.

* Most Americans will think that a Japanese person standing on the street is an American, unless they are holding a camera. If you are not comfortable speaking English, you might try bringing along a camera to say "I am a tourist, please don't expect me to speak English." Except, don't try this in the big cities -- tourists get mugged in big cities.

* Americans have a social institution called a "gratuity". Basically, the price on the menu at any place which serves food is not the real price. The real price is 20% higher. You have to calculate 20%, write it under the subtotal, and sum to arrive at the real price. Taxis work the same way. It is considered very rude not to pay the "gratuity".

* In general, Americans consider it impolite to discuss politics. However, this January Obama will become the new president, and many people are excited! If they ask you what you think of him, a safe answer is [English] "Obama is really cool." or [English] "Obama speaks so well. Not like me. Hehe." Be very careful when pronouncing his name. O BA MA, just like Obama City. [Ask me later. Hilarity abounds.]

* Most big cities have Japanese food available. You may have to look hard, though -- ask your hotel for some place to eat tempura. Restaurants which say they serve sushi probably only serve makizushi, like California rolls. (Americans think California rolls are [English] "sushi".) If a restaurant says [English] "Asian" they really mean Chinese. They are probably not really Chinese, either.

* Ladies: if you shop for clothes, ask for where to find [English] "petite". It means normal sized. Ladies who are petite may have difficulty finding clothes which fit in America, except at specialty shops.

* McDonalds: Has no teriyaki burger in America. Portions are bigger and food is cheaper. Sometimes the person taking the order does not speak English. Please relax! They probably understand the set menu, although it is called [English] "combo", and you can hold up the number with your hands as shown. [Snip of chart for how Americans count on their fingers, which is actually different than how Japanese people count on their fingers, hence the need for a chart.]

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish work and start packing. Toothbrush, shirts, camera, bullet-proof vest, wad of monopoly money, you know, the bare necessities.

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the Trans Canada Highway. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out 2 cardboard women, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.

They looked so life like you wouldn’t believe it! They were in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my life-like women. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn’t long before a Mountie pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard women doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him,

“Hello-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers.”

ZING!!!

Grandpa's back! This time he's getting a little randy! Enjoy my friends, enjoy...

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A Mexican maid asked her boss for a pay increase.

Her boss was anoyed at this and asked, 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase... The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband did.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'

Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora, the gardener did.'

Wife: 'So how much do you want?'

Due to the overwhelming love I feel for you guys (coupled with a burning guilt for not putting up more of these), I present you with another Email from Grandpa!....



"Lovers of the English language might enjoy
this. It is yet another example of why people learning
English have trouble with the language. Learning the
nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then,
that's probably true of many languages.)
There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps
has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that
word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as
being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the
sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the
morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic
come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP
for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP
a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and
clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix
UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special
meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work
UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is
special.
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it
UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UPabout UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP ,
look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add
UP to about thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of
your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP
with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When
it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for
awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now ........my time is UP, so time to shut UP!

Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning &
the last thing you do at night?

U P