I hear I've been missed, so let's cut to the story, as many have noticed, I am back, single, and.. Something else. To cut it down to parts, I started filming life. I attempted to go to the Middle East to film, when I told my friends, they sent me to a suicide counselor. I toured the Pacific in my boat. My laptop fell in. We all laughed, and I pushed someone in to get it. I settled down in Australia for a bit, found it a tad boring, got me and the gang flown to the Pacific Northwest. We currently reside in Central WA, doing stunts, and yes, we got out of the Jackass business. We've expanded to our own idiotic needs. We live, eat, sleep, fart, drink, and smoke all day long, and are planning on another move again. Please note this is not the Jackass crew I'm with. These are my loyal gang of followers, and people I owe money. And from this golden age of confusion the denim clad men came, and were known as.. The Apocalypse Dudes. Also, took a great interest in the band called Turbonegro, pretty good. And this is your Chief of Chef, Deric Dunn, signing out. Goodnight world.

Due to my long absence, I have made it my duty to re-introduce myself into SV society. I have lost contact with most people, and have neglected you guys as friends. I must say, that I apologize for not logging on more often to talk. So I am trying my best to make amends, and make new friends and every possible turn. Note that you guys are basically all the Americans that I have any contact with anymore, and that you people are like the second family. You guys are great friends. I should keep in contact, so I'm going to be more active on SV. Great to see everyone's accounts. I missed hearing droopy69's playlist. Great music. I will see you guys later.

Hey people, there is a perfectly good reason for some long absenses. Like just two weeks ago I was set ablaze and ran trough the town. Good times... Or such as a couple days ago me and some of my friends had an egging tournament. It's like normal egging, but you get PVC pipe guns to shoot the eggs. Hard-boiled not advised, raw eggs not advised either. And to the freak who actually brought an emu egg. I hope you read this, because that egg left a bruise. You owe me a rib. And to cover for the majority of my absense, I plead insanity, and partying... I also got a new party crew. The dude whos looking away is me. Someone came running in with the keg. Yeah, it's just a non-stop party. Everyone who can make it is invited. Just you bring the kegs. Seriously...

Alright so I hear theres been alot of speculation to my mysterious dissapearance to many of my favorited sites. Well it all started when I got married. I was forced to go back to college so I went to Oslo University College, where I went to a few to many parties in one night. Where I ended up, getting a little too drunk, and drove my car into the local bar. Which while my car was and still is, stuck in the bar, I was forced to leave the location. Then they had the nerve to restrict me from going within the a mile of the bar. Then the owner of the bar jumped the gun to ban take it to court. I ended up in community service, house arrest, and I can't get my car back because the bar owner thinks it looks good in his bar. Then when all this was over, my wife anted a divorce. So here I am, hello world, I'm open.

THE END.