This is something that harkens back to older iterations of my blog. I used to do a feature where I'd write a few jokes based on some of CNN.com's top stories of the moment. I think I'll bring it back so that I'm, at least, updating this blog more frequently.

#1 In Washington DC, today, a man with a rifle was arrested trying to drive in to the White House. He said he had a "special delivery" for the President. If he'd said he had a stimulus package, he might have gotten through!

#8 Gary Becker, ex-mayor of Racine, Wisconsin, plead innocent to charges of child pornography. People close to him had to be suspicious. The campaign stickers were scratch-and-sniff. They found a lot of questionable on his computer. He's got an interesting defense: Yeah, the pictures are of 16-year-old girls, but the pictures are three years old, so it's OK!

#2 The USAIR Flight 1549 crew was on Larry King Live, talking about that amazing water landing from a few weeks back. I'm a little worried because I can't help but think all this attention is a bad thing. Everybody is going to want in. Yesterday, my bus driver yelled "Bird in the Engine" and emergency landed the bus on a parked car at Wilshire and Vermont. When no cameras materialized, he started the bus back up and did the same thing a block later.